“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
— Ephesians 5:33
Reflection:
This verse from Ephesians presents a profound truth wrapped in everyday simplicity. Paul doesn’t offer a vague call to be kind or courteous—he commands that each husband love his wife as he loves himself. Not in theory. Not in convenience. But in the daily grind of life, in the conversations shared over breakfast, and in the way conflict is navigated when the house is quiet and tensions rise.
To love one's wife as oneself is to recognize her not as a separate entity to be tolerated or managed, but as an extension of one’s own soul—a co-heir, a partner, and a reflection of unity. It mirrors the creation account in Genesis, where God fashioned Eve from Adam’s rib. The message is clear: she is close to his heart, and they are designed to walk side by side.
Yet, this kind of love isn't natural to us. It must be cultivated, practiced, and pursued. It’s rooted in humility and sustained by grace. To love as Christ loves means to lay down pride, abandon selfishness, and replace passive habits with intentional action. Christ didn’t wait for the Church to love Him first—He initiated. He sacrificed. He pursued.
Husbands are called to carry this same mantle. Not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard. When words fail and feelings are raw, love must remain. The kind of love described in this verse isn't about romance or sentiment—it’s about resolve. It’s the choice to love again tomorrow and the next day, even when yesterday was filled with frustration.
Personal Application:
Loving your wife as yourself means you’re not just meeting her physical needs, but tending to her emotional and spiritual well-being. It means making space for her voice, validating her perspective, and showing her—through actions—that she matters.
This love looks like forgiveness. It looks like taking initiative to reconcile quickly after a disagreement. It looks like asking her, “How can I support you right now?” and really listening to her answer. It means praying for her, with her, and sometimes silently over her when she’s weary.
It also means protecting her joy. Are you mindful of the words you speak into her heart? Do you make her feel seen in your presence? Are you attentive to the way she receives love—through quality time, encouragement, service, or physical affection?
Loving her well may require you to change—to let go of routines that isolate and embrace rhythms that invite connection. It may involve asking difficult questions and offering your full attention when she answers. It demands consistency, not perfection. And it is fueled by grace, especially when you fall short.
Prayer:
Lord, thank You for the gift of marriage and the sacred calling to love my wife as You have loved Your Church. Help me to see her not just with my eyes, but with Your heart. Teach me to love her with patience, strength, and vulnerability. Forgive me for the times I’ve failed to reflect Your grace. I want to be a man who pursues unity, speaks life, and builds her up daily. May my love become a safe harbor, a healing balm, and a quiet strength that always leads her back to You. Amen.
Written by Sarah Leasure
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