"Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another." - Romans 12:10
Reflection
Living with PTSD can be a daunting journey, not only for the person experiencing it but also for their spouse. The shadows of past trauma can cast a long and dark veil over the present, making it challenging to maintain a sense of normalcy and connection. Yet, Romans 12:10 reminds us of the importance of showing love and affection, even in the most trying times. This scripture calls us to honor and prefer one another, a principle that becomes even more crucial when navigating the complexities of PTSD within a relationship.
When PTSD symptoms flare up, it can be difficult for both partners. The person with PTSD may struggle with feelings of fear, anxiety, and isolation, while their spouse may feel helpless, frustrated, or overwhelmed. However, it is during these moments that the commitment to love and support one another is most vital. The spouse's role in providing unwavering love and support can make a significant difference in the healing process.
Sometimes, the loving actions and words offered to a spouse with PTSD may seem to have little immediate effect. It can feel discouraging to reach out in kindness, only to be met with silence, withdrawal, or even anger. In these moments, it's easy to question whether love is making any difference at all. Yet, continuing to show love—especially when it appears to go unnoticed or unreturned—is deeply important. Love is not only a comfort; it is an anchor in turbulent seas. Even if your spouse cannot respond in the moment, your steadfast love communicates safety and reliability, sowing seeds of trust that can slowly take root and grow.
Persevering in love, despite appearing fruitless at times, reflects the very heart of sacrificial care. It demonstrates that your commitment is not conditional upon circumstances or immediate results. This kind of love assures your spouse that they are valued and cherished, even when their pain makes it hard for them to engage. Consistent acts of love and honor can gradually chip away at the isolation and self-doubt that PTSD often brings, reminding your spouse that they are not alone. Over time, these acts of patience and compassion may become stepping stones on the path to healing, even if progress is slow and invisible at first.
Ultimately, showing love when it seems ineffective is an act of faith—trusting that your care matters, even when you cannot see the outcome. It is an expression of the commitment and hope that form the foundation of a resilient relationship, and a living testament to the message of Romans 12:10: to honor and prefer one another, always.
Personal Application
Continuing to show love to a spouse with PTSD requires patience, understanding, and a deep commitment to the relationship. Here are some ways in which a spouse can continue to show love, even when the PTSD makes it hard:
- Emotional Availability: Being emotionally available means being present and attentive to your spouse's needs. This involves actively listening to their concerns, validating their feelings, and offering reassurance. It is important to create a safe space where your spouse feels comfortable expressing their emotions without fear of judgment.
- Consistent Support: Consistency is key when supporting a spouse with PTSD. This means being there for them during both the good and bad times. Consistent support can help build trust and provide a sense of stability, which is crucial for someone dealing with PTSD.
- Patience and Understanding: PTSD can be unpredictable, with symptoms that vary in intensity. It is important to be patient and understanding, recognizing that your spouse's behavior may be influenced by their trauma. Avoid taking their reactions personally and instead, offer empathy and compassion.
- Encouragement and Motivation: Encourage your spouse to engage in activities that promote healing, such as therapy, exercise, or hobbies. Offer motivation and remind them of their strengths and progress. Your encouragement can help them stay focused on their journey towards recovery.
- Practical Assistance: PTSD can make it difficult to manage daily tasks. Offer practical assistance by helping with household chores, managing appointments, or providing a calming presence during stressful situations. This practical support can help reduce the burden on your spouse, allowing them to focus on their healing.
- Spiritual Support: For those who find solace in their faith, spiritual support can be incredibly comforting. Pray together, read scripture, or attend religious services. This spiritual connection can offer additional strength and reinforce the message of Romans 12:10 that love and honor are foundational to a strong relationship.
Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You today, seeking Your guidance and strength as we navigate the challenges of PTSD in our relationships. We thank You for the gift of our spouses who walk alongside us, offering love and support even in the darkest times. May You grant us the patience, understanding, and compassion to continue showing love to our spouses, even when it is difficult. Help us to honor and prefer one another, as You have called us to do. May Your love and grace be our guide, providing comfort and healing in our journey together. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Written by Sarah Leasure
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