10 Commandments of a Christian Marriage: Keep Account of Wrongs Short

“But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.” — Matthew 5:22

Reflection

Forgiveness is at the very heart of the Christian life, especially within marriage. Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:22 warns us of the dangers of unchecked anger and the destructive power of harsh words. In marriage, as in all relationships, anger left unresolved can become a barrier, slowly hardening hearts and distancing spouses from each other. When we keep a running list of wrongs—each slight, misunderstanding, or unkind word—we open the door to bitterness. Instead of bringing healing, holding onto offenses only deepens wounds and makes reconciliation more difficult.

Jesus calls us to a higher standard, one that goes beyond simply avoiding outward expressions of anger. He invites us to address the attitudes and hidden resentments within our hearts. The practice of “keeping short accounts” means refusing to let offenses pile up. It means being quick to forgive, to seek understanding, and to release our spouse from debts, both real and perceived. This is not easy; forgiveness can feel costly and vulnerable, especially when we’ve been hurt. Yet, Scripture reminds us that holding onto anger puts us in danger—not only of relational breakdown but of spiritual harm. God’s call to forgive is not a denial of pain but an invitation to freedom, healing, and restored intimacy.

Marriages are built on imperfect people who will inevitably fail one another. But when we choose forgiveness, we mirror the grace God has shown us. We break the cycle of accusation and retaliation, making room for love to grow. The decision to keep accounts short is not a one-time event but a daily choice—a humble surrender to God’s transforming work in our hearts. Over time, this discipline draws us closer to our spouse and to Christ, the One who forgave us fully and freely.

Personal Application

Keeping short accounts in marriage begins with a willingness to address issues as they arise. Instead of letting frustration simmer, choose to speak gently and honestly with your spouse about what’s bothering you. Listen with an open heart, seeking to understand rather than to defend. When you are the one who has wronged your spouse, be quick to admit your fault and ask for forgiveness. Small apologies, offered sincerely and promptly, go a long way in preventing resentment from taking root.

Make forgiveness a regular part of your relationship. At the end of each day, take time to reflect and ask God if you are holding onto any offense. Pray together as a couple, inviting God to heal hurts and restore unity. Remember that forgiveness is not always a feeling but a choice—one that may need to be repeated as God works in your heart. If reconciliation feels difficult, consider seeking counsel from a trusted mentor or pastor who can guide you through the process with grace and wisdom.

Ultimately, keeping short accounts is about trusting God with your pain and your marriage. Ask Him to give you compassion for your spouse, patience in conflict, and strength to let go of grudges. As you practice forgiveness, you’ll find that peace, intimacy, and joy begin to flourish in your relationship.

Thought-Provoking Questions

1. Are there any unresolved hurts or offenses you have been holding onto in your marriage? What is keeping you from releasing them to God?
2. How do you typically respond when your spouse upsets you—do you address it quickly, or let it linger? How might keeping short accounts change your relationship?
3. What practical steps can you take this week to be more intentional about forgiveness in your marriage?
4. How can inviting God into your process of reconciliation bring deeper healing and unity to your relationship?

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for forgiving me so completely and for showing me the way of grace through Your Son. Help me to keep short accounts with my spouse, to let go of anger quickly, and to seek reconciliation when there is hurt between us. Give me humility to admit when I am wrong and courage to forgive when I have been wronged. Fill our marriage with Your peace and unity, and teach us to reflect Your love in the way we speak, act, and forgive. Guide us each day to walk in freedom, trust, and deepening intimacy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

***The Ten Commandments of Christian Marriage Devotions are not intended to serve as definitive commandments on marriage; rather, they should be regarded as constructive guidelines founded upon biblical principles, designed to safeguard and strengthen your marriage and its enduring legacy.***